you can't do everything all the time
And also -- you can't be everything for everyone. The word "everything" truly ruins any chance of success, contentment or pride we might have. These are some realizations I have had lately, and maybe they will resonate with someone. Maybe not, but that's okay :-)
YOU CAN'T DO EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME
I am going to simplify this thought WAY down for a second. My world is content creation, so I often think about this: YouTube videos, IG posts, Reels, TikToks, blog posts, product lines, IG lives, YouTube Shorts (?!?), IGTV, Patreon...... There are SO many ways I could be creating content. And to be honest, I feel pressure to try and do ALL of these things. I look around at successful friends doing everything I just listed and wonder "how in the WORLD is all of that possible?"
You know a crazy dumb realization I had? I was under the impression that all of my creator friends were actually doing all of these things. Then I thought about my friends one-by-one and thought "oh THIS friend does YouTube and a blog" "And then THAT friend does TikTok and Reels". I realized I had a false impression of what everyone else around me was juggling, where the successful ones really only picked one or two things to focus on. Is that just me?
On a more broad/applicable level -- sometimes we try to juggle too much and THAT is what is holding us back from being successful. Imagine if you have 10 hours a week to *two* side projects as opposed to 30 mins a day to *twenty* random tasks? Is less actually more in terms of success?
Not to mention, there is so much more to life. I have cut down my expectations for myself and have found much more time for slow, intentional living. I am much more present in the moment. I am trying hobbies because I WANT to, not because I put them on my to-do list with an ulterior motive of it somehow making me more successful. I have watched Dodger games with Brook without also feeling the need to respond to as many comments as possible during it "because that is what a good YouTuber would do". I have read books for fun instead of reading books on "how to work smarter and harder and make more money". And you know what? Work hasn't suffered. And life has been SO much more enjoyable.
YOU CAN'T BE EVERYTIHING FOR EVERYONE
This often comes up in my videos (and my therapy sessions if I am being honest): I am a people pleaser. BAD. And an Enneagram 3 who basically only lives to strive for "success". Because of that, I really let other people's opinions, advice and critiques get to me. Maybe you also receive a few hundred comments and DMs a day, or maybe you have one person in your life who you can never seem to make happy. Whatever the extent, you might feel a similar emotion.
I had to recently learn that it is actually impossible to make everyone "like you". Think about it. Person A wants you to express more political views and be more of an activist. Person B doesn't like it when you talk about *anything* serious and wishes you remained lighthearted 24/7 for their own comfort. How in the world would you ever be able to please those two people? You can't. This is a hard truth that I am just kinda making myself.... get over.
What has helped me is the concept of "if you don't like me, you don't have to be here". This can mean many things. Online, it can mean "please just unfollow". IRL it can mean "maybe we don't have the see each other this often". With roommates perhaps it can mean "I think it is time for me to find a new living situation". I used to think this was running from conflict. But you know what? No matter how many times I DM back someone who simply doesn't like me, it doesn't make anything better. It actually usually makes me feel worse. If someone truly doesn't like you, they don't deserve the emotional labor of you trying to convince them otherwise.
We are all beautifully and wonderfully made as WIDELY differing humans. I love this about humanity. How boring would it be if we all thought the same, dressed the same, looked the same, and valued the same things? Just remember, you bring something special and unique to the table. The cold hard truth is no matter what that is, some people will adore it and others will simply dislike it. All that matters is that someone out there will find value in what you have to say. That, that is beautiful.